DespicaBILL Me
by Animation101
Summary: When Bill Cipher a crimnal mastermind uses a trio of girls as pawns for his grand scheme, he finds his love for them is better then anything he could steal. (Based of Despicable Me)
1. Global Panic

**I don`t own Despicable Me or Gravity Falls**

**DespicaBILL Me**

**Chapter 1: Global Panic**

The sun was blaring in the desert next to the pyramids as a sheepherder herded his sheep. He overviewed the pyramids on a majestic hill….until a bus full of tourists hit him.

Tourists piled out including a really chubby man. A kid holding a toy plane and wearing sunglasses tried to follow but was attached to a leash his mother had. The boy dragged the mother until she said. "Justin." The chubby man said. "Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand!" He did a pose under the pyramid. As the mother was distracted, the boy unbuckled himself from the leash and ran off.

As she took pictures, the mother noticed her son approaching the dangerous scaffolding next to the pyramid. "Justin, you get back here right now!" She shouted. The two guards now noticed the boy and chased after as he climbed the scaffolding. "No, no! Stop Him!" "Go back! Don`t climb!" The guards said.

The boy unaware played with his plane like it was actually flying. The two guards catched up. One saying. "Hold on. Easy, little boy."

The boy backed up not knowing he was almost at the edge of the wooden board right above the pyramid. "Okay child. Stop right there!" One guard shouted. The boy lost his balance and fell right down to the pyramid.

A guard said. "No, no, no! Oh! There he goes." The mother gasped as her son was approached the pyramid at full speed. But when he finally landed, it shot him right back up again like a balloon.

People took photos as the kid approached his mother flailing his arms. The mother tried to catch her son. The boy then held the plane toy in his hand and smiled. The boy then crashed into his father knocking him down. The pyramid then let out a ton of air and started deflating.

It then cut to a news anchorman who said. "Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen and replaced by a giant inflatable replica." It then cut to the guards trying to pump it full of air again. "There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens try to protect their beloved landmarks. It cut to guards and a mime guarding the effiel tower, the Great Wall was protected by tanks, and one guy protecting a giant can of soda.

"Law enforcement still has no leads, leaving everyone to wonder which of the worlds villains is responsible for this heinous crime? And where will he strike next?!"


	2. Meet Bill

**I don`t own Despicable Me or Gravity Falls**

**DespicaBILL Me**

**Chapter 2: Meet Bill**

A man with a top hat, bowtie and scarf walked in the park smiling. He then saw a little boy crying with an ice cream cone. The ice cream had fallen off. The man then made a sad face and then pulled out a flat balloon and made a balloon animal and gave it to the boy.

The boy then hugged the balloon dog and smiled….Until the man popped it with a pin. He then walked past the boy turning him aside. The man then went to a coffee shop. He saw there was a long line and groaned. He then pulled a freeze ray and froze everyone except the cashier yelling. "Freeze Ray! Freeze Ray! Freeze Ray." and laughing. He then took the coffee and the bag from the cashier only leaving a tip.

He then went to drive home in his car that was huge and had a big yellow B on the side of it as a rocket booster was in the back powering the vehicle. He then backed up into his driveway at his big black house which stood out against all the other little white houses. His neighbor, Toby said. "Morning, Bill!"

Bill groaned and approached his neighbor. He said. "How you doing?" as he watered his plants. "Hello, Toby." Bill said. "FYI, your dog had been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don`t appreciate it." Toby chuckled and said. "Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they want to go."

Bill said. "Unless they`re dead." Bill then laughed at Toby`s shocked face. "I`m joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one." Bill then walked inside. Toby said. "Oh, okay. Uh…. Yeah."

Bill once inside took off his jacket and approached his alligator couch to enjoy his coffee. He then noticed his mutant dog sleeping on the couch. The mutant dog snored loudly. Using his leg carefully, he pushed the dog to the side making sure not to wake him. Bill finally sat down and was about to bite a muffin until the doorbell rang.

He groaned. "You`ve got to be pulling on my leg!" He then grabbed a mace and looked though the peephole on his door. A girl with blonde hair said. "Hello?" Bill then saw a blonde haired girl who was older then the little girl with brown hair who was too young to have braces. He also noticed an Asian girl sitting on the stairs. "Cookies for sale." The blonde said. Bill said. "Go away. I`m not home."

The blonde girl said. "Yes, you are. I heard you." The Asian girl then made a face in the peephole. Bill winced and said. "No, you didn`t. This…." He thought. "is a recording." "No, it isn`t" The blonde said. "Yes, it is. Watch this. Leave a message, beep." The Asian girl then kicked the door as Bill shouted in pain. The brown haired girl said. "Goodbye, recorded message." The blonde called. "Mabel, come on!" Mabel followed holding a ratty plush pig.


End file.
